[Thoughts]

"Joy and sorrow are inseparable...together they come, and when one sits alone with you...remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." [Kahlil Gibran]

It hurts to reopen the wound, but perhaps it is the only way to heal properly.

[Letters]

"In our houses we have nooks and corners in which we like to curl up comfortably. To curl up belongs to the phenomenology of the verb to inhabit, and only those who have learned how to do so can inhabit with intensity." [Gaston Bachelard]

all images © kinfolk magazine. all rights reserved. 

Dear Dad- I wish you were around for mom. She misses having someone around the house when her teenage daughter is out watching the Bachelorette with friends. Dear Kinfolk Magazine- I am in love! Your entire "solitude" section of the magazine is loosely based off of(and highly quoted from) Walden. You are the perfect thought provoking read and I am really finding the need to spend some quality time with myself, outdoors, alone with my thoughts. I am so excited for more beautiful pictures, interesting articles, and ideas for future gatherings. The whole manifesto just excites me. Dear Obama- Thank you for interrupting Bachelorette to bring us news about the budget crisis. Although the news is grave, I appreciate that I have a president who is looking out for our nation and our families, and who takes the time to explain to us the situation and what he plans on doing to remedy it. I feel like I've been thrown back to the 1930's and am listening to FDR's fireside chats. 


P.S. One of the ideas in Kinfolk Magazine was that we spend so much time on social networking, but no time focusing on solitude. I think it is so important that we learn to take a step back from the computer and find ourselves. I want to create, discover, relax, and finally explore the inner reaches of my own mind. 


quote and photo inspired from: http://hila-lumiere.blogspot.com/2011/07/kinfolk-magazine-interview.html

[Letters]

Dear Dad- I miss waking up around 9 on Sunday mornings to the sound of you and mom chatting. I'd come downstairs, grab the comics from you, and lay on the couch, trying to stretch out this relaxing time before the chaos of the day had to ensue. Dear Games- Could I be any more addicted? This was the perfect lazy Sunday. A few games of Nertz and some sushi with mom and Jamie, coffee and Egyptian Rat Slap/Bananagrams/Badminton with Olav and Jamie, and a bowl of popcorn accompanying a long game of Killer Bunnies with Lara and Marisa. I freaking love game days. Dear Community- I didn't think it possible, but I am getting even more addicted, falling further in love with Abed, and becoming so much more fascinated and impressed with your writing. 


P.S. The most frustrating thing is finding out that people you thought you knew, were somehow so different. It's depressing, upsetting, and disheartening. I am so proud of my friends and the decisions they make in their lives. I am blessed to have such amazing friends I know I can count on. Bonus points if they don't drink or smoke; it's not a deal breaker, but I really dislike that kind of influence in my life. 

[Letters]

My new ring from farmers market. Let go of hatred, guilt, sadness, anger, perfection...

Dear Dad- Today, daughter number three had her graduation party. I wish you could have been there to sign her card "To Jamiesan, from Mr. Zimmerbob." Dear Olav- I would just like to point out that I won our Egyptian Rat Slap championship. Also, thanks for getting into my head and being just about the only person who could guess what I was thinking during catchphrase. Dear Lara- I think we are possibly the weirdest two people ever, but that's really what brings us together. Thanks for taking Bonnie out with me, judging the Rat Slap games, and not making fun of me too much when I said that Mr. Ramponi once went up in a "water balloon." I'm excited for our shopping adventure this week. 


P.S. I love days that turn around. I was grumpy for most of the morning and afternoon, and yet Jamie's party this afternoon turned everything around. I guess that's what bocce ball, treats from around the world, and overtired games of catchphrase do to you. 

[Letters]

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” [Catherine Ponder]


Dear Dad- Today at the Social Security office the man helping us made a dumb joke like you would've made. I miss your sense of humor and your ability to make us laugh during tough situations. Dear Shopping- Come fall, you and I are going to have to break up. In the meantime, I'm enjoying finding crazy clearance deals and ransacking thrift stores for size 10 shoes. I think I hit the jackpot today! Dear Jamie- Despite your interesting driving incidences, I love you. Thanks for putting up with the melting heat, getting horribly lost, and the shaking dashboard as we trekked to Mara's grad party. 


P.S. True forgiveness is not reconciliation. It is not having closure. It is not confrontation. True forgiveness is letting go of anger and resentment whether or not there is an apology or recognition of being hurt. True forgiveness is accepting and loving someone even as they continue to do wrong. Only when we truly forgive someone can we move on from the bitterness and pain we cling to and regain control of our lives. 

[Letters]

"By building relations we create a source of love and personal pride and belonging that makes living in a chaotic world easier."  [Susan Lieberman]

I miss the days when we had fortnight game night in an actual fort. 

Dear Dad- Remember when we used to sit and watch Sarah Connor Chronicles? I would be constantly confused because I HATED the idea of time travel. I miss you. Dear Michael- Thank you for killing the wasp up in the office today that REFUSED to die. We know now that we can count on you to save a damsel in distress. Or five. Pretty sure the best part was you freaking out when it stuck to your shoe. Dear Fortnight Game Night- You're a great excuse to chill with my homies every other week and play board games. So pumped for you tonight! 


P.S. The feeling of belonging is one of the best feelings in the world. I love going to work now for that reason. We are becoming friends, a family even in ways. We complain about our supervisors, gossip about chemical levels, tell hilarious stories about the little ones, laugh with our bosses, and make up dumb songs when we're teaching. I especially love smoothie runs and I'm so excited for our Tuesday night water aerobics class where we get to hang out with cool older ladies!

[Letters]

My new camera case.

Dear Dad- You once said that the greatest thing I did for this family was bring life into the house. I'm sorry I have to leave for college, but I know you'd be as excited as I am for this next phase in my life. Dear Chipotle Tabasco- Your delicious kickin' taste makes having taco salad every week much more exciting. Dear Thrift Store Find- I'm so pumped that for just a dollar I now have a stylin' case to tote around my camera, lens, flash, and film! HOLY MOLEY WHAT A DEAL!


P.S. Sometimes I feel that we teenagers have our priorities seriously mixed up. We spend evenings, days, and weekends with our friends, avoiding trips, dinners, and time with our families. We'd rather drive around doing nothing with our friends for two hours than play a game of cards with our parents. The thing is, many friendships are fleeting. They will last a year or two, the good ones may last through college, but we will always have our families. Maybe that's why we don't try to spend so much time with our families, because we think they will always be there. The truth is, we need to remember our parents, the time they gave, the sacrifices they made. It's time to skip a few movie marathons with friends and head home for a family meal, to be with the people who love us so much and who may not always be there. 

[Letters]

Dear Dad- I miss your big booming laugh and how your eyes would squint and your face would turn red when you were really laughing. Dear 7-Year-Old at the Y- Thank you for making my day. I smiled at your response when you asked me if I was both a lifeguard and a swim instructor. "Wow, You're amazing!" Yet another reason why kids are AWESOME! Dear Harmony Cafe Walnut Burger- You are so delicious I had to come back for another today. This is the first time in 4 months I've had a hearty "burger." Your sprouts, cheese, and warm ciabatta bread make this the best sandwich ever.


P.S. I have been thinking a lot about breakups lately, and its starting to make me kind of bitter. There is no such thing as a good breakup. If you break up with someone right away, its a surprise, but if you gradually distance yourself, its dragging them along. Being surrounded by so many breakups really makes me not want to date right now. It also makes me really glad that I never dated in high school, it just feels like unnecessary heartbreak. Another thing I've learned is to really trust the words of more experienced people, parents, family friends, older siblings, teachers, etc. They have been through this and they know the best way to handle it. Even if it seems like their advice is way off, its probably best to take it, because they will most likely be right in the end. 

[A Week Across Wisconsin]

I dedicate this blog post to Garrett Hetrick, who was distraught, rightfully so, when I didn't blog about seeing him. I am doing a less-than-perfect job at keeping up with my blog lately, but this will change, I promise. 
So, the moment you've all been waiting for: MY BEST WEEK EVER! I traveled to Lakewood, back to Appleton, Milwaukee, Door County, back to Milwaukee, Cascade, and finally, home. 

Sunset cruise, post boat parade.

The beautiful lake.

We obviously are not lacking in 4th of July spirit. 

Dear Buss Cottage- You never fail to provide the perfect weekend. Delicious grilled veggies, deluxe hummus sandwiches, boating, card games, sun, and laughter. The weather even cooperated this weekend, hot days without a cloud in the sky are perfect for being out at the lake. Dear Fourth of July- A boat parade(complete with water balloon fight and sunset), hilarious outfits, scared doggies, delicious American food, and fireworks. What more could I ask for to celebrate independence day? Dear Terry and Andrea- Even though you guys beat me and Jamie at euchre, you two provide us with all of the food, take us out on the boat, and even entertain us with raft-chasing and conversations about cannibals. 

Just an everyday picture with my seester. We should be models. 

Before Florence and Black Keys. Beyond excited.

Dear Milwaukee Traffic- You scared the bajeebers out of me at first, but I think I'm a bit more comfortable with cars weaving in and out all around me and having to switch lanes about every 10 seconds to avoid ending up in Guam. Dear Seester- THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for taking me to the greatest concert of my life. Thanks for putting up with the cloud of pot smoke around us, Cage the Elephant, and the guy with the creepy smile. Also, thanks for calling the MU limo really early so we could sprint three blocks, that was fun. Dear Room 412- You guys are hilarious. Between Brit's eating habits (16 tacos),  Paula's cracks ("I want a big dog. One that I can ride to work"), and Allison's nutsie skills, I'm pretty sure I wished I lived with you guys 24/7. 

Back in Milwaukee after the long drive. Note the green "drive through" pass from the state park. I got it from a ranger who told me not to "dilly dally" or another ranger would come around and ticket me. 

Dear Garrett- Pretty sure the most exciting part about this week was getting that phone call from you Wednesday night. I think it's a pretty good show of friendship if I'm willing to get up at 5:00 am after a late night concert and drive you three hours to Door County, only to turn back again. Dear Three Hour Solo Drive- Thank you for showing me that I have a. Confidence while driving b. A sense of direction c. Great dance skills d. Enough patience to handle this long of a car ride with myself. This was actually incredibly fun, and I would easily do it again, especially if I have my mix of Lupe Fiasco, Black Keys, Florence, Cory Chisel, and Mumford blasting on the stereo. Dear Starbucks- Thanks for keeping me awake on my six hour, 6:00 am drive. Although I think 5 shots of espresso might have been overkill...

From a previous family reunion, just a taste of how crazy they can be.

Dear Family Reunion- You were a killer time as always. I LOVE MY COUSINS SO MUCH! Also, swimming around for an hour with a 6 year old on my back was a pretty good work out. Dear Corn on the Cob- You are D-to the- licious! Especially when dipped in vat of melted butter. There really is no other way to enjoy you. 

The crazy Hetrick boys. "Don't look at my toenail... I'm afraid you could, like, rip it off" -Austin Hetrick

Dear Hetrick Household- You never fail to contain joy under your roof. I would say this was an especially joyful night, the one night I got to spend with Garrett when he was home. Dear Austin- You made all of us laugh so hard with your crazy overtired brain. Also, I'm really honored to be on your best friends list twice, and I made it before Mike Tyson, so that's saying something. Dear 3:00 am Bedtime- Worth it. 


P.S. The fact that I am soooo not keeping up with my blogging has me slightly concerned for college. My motivation factor needs to increase exponentially before September. This is why I will practice by blogging more than once a week. Over and out. 

[Thoughts]

I have been having a bit of a pity party lately, so in order to stop that nonsense, I am making a list of things I am grateful for. 


I am grateful for...
... a beautiful, functional, film camera, compliments of my father.
... friends around the country that I can miss, love, and come to with anything.
... a brother who is willing to take a half hour bus ride to buy me breakfast, give me advice on life, and show me perseverance.
... a car.
... wonderful people in my life who will sit in my room while I clean, run errands with me, and come over at 10:30 at night just to hear about my issues. 
... panera. 
... the experience I had in choir. I love making music so much, especially with these people who I share an unlikely but strong connection with. 
... that really funny picture of Mara, Craig, and I dressed up as Craig. 
... $.51 movies at blockbuster on Sundays. 
... my beastly roommate who basically bought EVERYTHING we could possibly need for our room. 
... MUSIC! and people who share an appreciation for it. 
... air conditioning.
... Friends. The TV show. And the people.
... my sister, who cooks me more meals than my mother does when I come visit her. Also, she is okay with sitting around and playing games for 5 hours, so thats always good too.
... not having to worry about finances. 
... my guitar. Even though I don't really express my love for it enough.
... sunglasses. Best invention ever. 
... sunscreen. Scratch sunglasses, without sunscreen my life would be miserable. 
... the fact that I am able to donate plasma. 
... Abed and Troy, who never fail to put a smile on my face. 
... PICTURES. JOURNALS. MEMORIES. ART. 
...  starbucks. I've gone there about 4 times in the past 4 days. 
... my mother, who puts up with watching spiderman 2, buys me artichokes, and deals with things like bank accounts and social security offices. 
... life lessons.
... love. And its abundance in my life.