[Letters]

Dear Dad- Sometimes when I think about you it just brings me so much joy. You are no longer in pain, you have your rockin' new body and you spend all of your days just praising Jesus. Holy, Holy, Holy! escapes your lips day after day and that is so beautiful. Dear Jubilee- You are so precious. Thank you for bringing me joy and fulfillment and for refreshing me this morning. I love your smiles, your giggles, and how much you look like Jack Jack from the incredibles. Your tiny fingers make mine, and many other hearts, melt. Dear Beloit Cemetery- Thank you for being my escape. Your beautiful hills, trees, flowers, and dirt paths make you the perfect destination for a run, a walk, or a moment alone and out of the house to just let myself go. You have been my sanity amongst the chaos of this week.

P.S. So far in the past week I have had seven phone conversations. Normally, it is one or none. I think this week is making me realize how much I truly love and value the community I have in Eau Claire. I really love my friends. A lot.

[A Year in Review: Sophomore Year]

I really didn't think that I would be ready to write this kind of post. But I did a lot of processing last night and got to examine how powerfully God has worked in my life these past 365 days. I know that the anxiety from leaving school, saying goodbye, and starting the summer that I felt last year does not have to consume me again this year. This time, I have God on my side and I know he WILL see me through. 

Yesterday was the InterVarsity banquet. IV was pretty much the biggest part of my year, other than what God himself was doing in me, but even that was intricately tied to my time spent in IV. These are the people I God has blessed me with this year.

I really enjoyed experimenting in the kitchen with Meghan and making varieties of 

raspberry cream cheese brownies. 

I felt the need to get away and listen to God speak to me. This is what he said. 

"This story is mine. It is beautiful. I am not done with it."

This is just Lexie. 

She is one of the most beautifully honest people I know. 

Because of her, I have learned to speak truth in the name of Jesus. 

I have understood the power in being real and committing to loving others.

In Lexie, I have a friend and a sister and a deep bond of lactose intolerance.

This is Meghan.

Like me, this year she is being blown away by God's desire to know us. 

She has super good insights and she is always positive. 

She is learning how to be loved and cared for. 

I get to live with her for a whole two months this summer.

God is going to continue to do some amazing things through our friendship.

This is Jaimie Beran. 

Isn't she beautiful? 

She is learning how to trust God with her whole life and be satisfied in Him.

And I get to be a part of the process. 

She gets to be a part of my process too, as she reminds me how much 

God loves me and longs to care for and bless me. 

We really like to cry and we know that Jesus likes it too.

This is Grace, Michelle, and Ali.

They are all going to lead a collective study and create amazing community on 4W next year.

Grace is hilarious and she totally gets my sense of humor. I'm excited to see her stand firm as her faith continues to be challenged. I love our conversations and just spending time with her.

Michelle has a beautiful smile and kind heart. Watching her life be transformed by God this year has been amazing. She shows me how to trust God in everything. I love her hugs!

Ali has an infectious laugh. She lives out her faith in a way that is so powerfully evident to those around her. God is teaching us both how to be vulnerable and let people see who we really are. Ali is the best bowls player there is and it is pretty much a guarantee that she will write down zebras, sparkling water, or Jesus every round. 

This is Molly.

My relationship with her has boomed the last year and it has been a journey.

And it hasn't all been easy, in fact, there are times when it's been really hard.

But we are sisters and we can love each other with Christ's love and it is good. 

She is the biggest servant I know and I long to see the day when 

she can find as much joy in being served as serving. 

This is Sam Ham. 

I literally have no idea how we became friends. It's like one day we weren't... and then we were. 

God is really funny like that. 

Sam Ham teaches me really cool things about being faithful, compassionate, and how important it is to love those around you. 

Next year, we get to move our friendship into the long distance phase. 

I am excited to see the fruits that will come of it.

This is Luke. 

(and Zach... good picture man!)

He is really good at illustrating, especially sharks. 

He is teaching me what it means to be cared about and served.

He speaks truth into my life and reminds me that salvation is a daily surrender.

He is constantly encouraging me to come back the power that lies in the Father and His word.

This is Anna.

Sadly, this is actually the best photo I have of us. Maybe not so surprising.

We are Tuesday lunch date buddies, because our schedules are #theworst.

We are also really good friends who like to laugh and love and scream and drink coffee.

If I ever feel the need to just be a girl, I go to Anna. #notoften

Also, she's allergic to peanuts, so on Tuesdays, I can't eat PB&J. That is a sacrifice, people.

She is teaching me how to be a friend. As simple as that sounds, I'm not always great at it.

But she is so patient and I am so thankful for that. 

This is Jenna. In the middle is Jessie. 

We get to spend lots of time together next year on large group team.

Jenna is crazy. She is only a year older than me but she seems about a lifetime wiser.

She puts a killer amount of work into coordinating IV and I hope to do the same.

Jessie is equal parts hilarious and genuine rolled into one. 

She is replacing me as MC for next semester (hallelujah!).

She is going to do so well, but it's honestly a little hard to give it up. 

This is Taylor.

I got to be MC with him this semester. 

It was probably the biggest personality clash in the history of the world. 

Except not, because we're both really chill and awkward and funny. 

That's a lie, I'm not chill at all. Hence the personality clash (see above).

But seriously, God has really blessed me with this dude. 

We really learned to rely on each other and depend on each other. We can make each other laugh and we have gotten to the point where we know each other's moods and how to work with that. We also are super grateful for Adam, who is always looming in the background.

This is Trenten.

He is an answer to a prayer of longing. 

I cried out to God, asking for a brother that desired to mentor me and pour Jesus' love into me.

God gave me Trent, about 6 months prior to my prayer. (Duh.)

Trent challenges me to think and grow and he is so real. 

He has told me that I am someone God has laid on his heart to care about. 

Ha ha, I see what you did there. Good one, God. 

Here are some uncomfortably awkward pictures of Elijah, Jim, and Ethan.

These guys are my number 1, 2, and 3. 

They are super hilarious and great.

 I am so thankful I had them to hang out with and talk to after every large group. 

Because always being alone isn't necessarily a good thing. (Or so I'm told.)

Elijah and I are on the same wavelength. Sometimes I think of him as my son.

Jim draws me and my roommate pictures. They're pretty great.

Ethan, well, just look at him. He's my number three.

This is Govs.

But not really because there are only 5 people in this picture.

Specifically, Jessie, James, Luke, Ben, and Zach.

But I love my hall a lot and I love the people God has blessed me with.

Ben has been especially great. 

We have grown a lot closer this semester, from Pine Ridge road trips to late night runs. 

He has seen me at my lowest (eating ice cream in the caf) and apparently still wants to be my friend.

He is really good at asking questions and God has given him an amazing gift of kindness.

Ben thought it would be a good idea to run around and get a picture of me with everyone in the room.

Everyone.

We got about 65 pictures in 5 minutes. 

Some people were really willing and excited, like Cole.

Others, were less so. 

(Issac really likes me, I swear.)

Are you overwhelmed by the goodness and blessing that God has given me this year? Good, me too. He cares for me. He loves me. And really powerful way he loves me is through other people. That is what I am excited to share tonight.

[Over the Weekend]

I am grateful...

for safe and relaxing last-minute rides home.

for friends that I am excited to see join together in marriage.

for mothers who take the time to go shopping for and sew on extra fabric when you found the perfect bridesmaids dress that just...isn't...quite...long...enough.

for homecooked omelets... real food

for long-awaited sunshine and warmth...

that's actually sticking around this time.

for awkward pictures of me running...

But actually for my mom, Lexie, Trenten, and Luke, who made awesome signs, drove around all morning chasing me, and screamed encouragement until they lost their voices.

for even more awkward pictures of me running in my too big spandex.

And for kicking my time goal in the keister. [final time - 2:11:24]

Also, for being called a running champion. 

Highlights include: being cared for by Justin, resting Friday morning, a breakfast double date, that awkward moment at noodles, a car conversation with Jesus, worshiping at Jacob's Well with mom and Luke, Panera sandwiches, games of cards and Monopoly, vulnerable conversations, Ben deciding to run the half, going to Altoona family restaurant with Ben, Luke and my mom, baking an apple pie, going on a walk with Sam Ham, and ending by spending time with some of my favorite people. 

[Letters]

December last year; seems about right

Decebmer this year; I can handle that!

May last year...

May this year... what?

Dear Dad- Lately, I've been talking about you a lot. Like how you don't have a middle name and when you came into my Kindergarten classroom to read us Caps For Sale and how special those nights were that I would fall asleep crunched in your bed with Rachel and Matt as you read us Winnie the Pooh. You seriously were the best Eeyore. Dear Jesus- You are teaching me what it means to be served. I'm not very good at accepting this yet, so thank you for being patient with me. Keep making your servant patient too as I learn, okay? Thanks. Dear Weather- Let's do a comparison, shall we? I think the pictures above speak for themselves. #thisismadness #immovingtotexas 

P.S. A friend and I were talking today about our lives before college and our lives after we started college. I honestly feel like most of my life has happened since I've come to college. I don't know if it is because of how radically Jesus has changed me in my time here, or if it is because of the relationships I've made, or just because of the experiences I had during high school. Maybe its a combination of both. Or maybe its just that because I'm in college right now I have a skewed perspective. 

[Over the Weekend]

I am grateful...

for brothers that serve me and my beautiful sisters. 

Photocredit: Dana Sopkowiak

for truck beds to soak up the sun while eating cool snow cones after kickball games. 

Photocredit: Jaimie Beran

My friendship with this girl. Seriously, God had a plan for us to meet. 

Photocredit: Brittany Eland

for ridiculous videos of flying kites.

Videocredit: Jaimie Beran 

for walks along the river that contain serious, God-filled, important, and fulfilling conversations. 

Highlights include: turtle cheesecake ice cream for breakfast, romping around through the woods on a sunny afternoon, valet service at the sister's banquet, IV men's a capella, laughing with Danielle and Haley, watching the new MC in action, running 11.5 miles, dominating at kickball, doing ab ripper outside, driving around with the windows down, playing soccer, laser tag, and volleyball, getting sunburned, taking a nap, rollerblading, shouting truth, breaking into a church to use the bathroom and having important, God-filled conversations.